Caring and parenting relationships

You may choose to:

• Seek support to maintain parenting and caring roles within the community.
• Join a carers' group.
• Access a local "Parent and Child" club.
• Seek support from your local school.
• Improve contacts with home if you are in hospital.

Parenting relationships

Key Action 3 of "Raising the Standard - The Revised National Service Framework for adult mental health services in Wales" clearly explains the support parents should expect when they become ill.

It reads: "Authorities are to promote social inclusion by meeting the needs of specific vulnerable people who have a mental health problem and are already at risk of exclusion, e.g. parents who have mental health problems."

Meanwhile Key Action 39 of the Framework says, with regard to children, that: "The needs of vulnerable children and young people whose parents/guardians have mental health problems are to be considered very carefully. There is to be careful planning to ensure their needs are fully taken into account especially in situations where they are acting as carers."

In other words, when a parent becomes ill your local authority is advised to tackle both the parental mental illness and child welfare together through an integrated approach of health, social, housing and education services.

What can a parent do for their child before they become ill?

When a parent becomes ill and is taken to hospital for treatment they will obviously be anxious about the welfare of their child in their absence.
They also may be concerned about the possible long-term emotional or psychological effects their absence could have on their child.

In these circumstances the care of the child depends on the family's circumstances. If a member of the child's family (close or extended) is not able to look after the child the local council will be able to help and meet the family's needs.

When a parent is in hospital children may experience a range of problems such as increased anxiety, worry, loneliness and teasing (about their parent's illness) from other children. These factors could all impact on the quality of the child's school work and their general wellbeing.

If a parent fears they may become ill they might wish to consider taking positive, practical steps in advance, measures which, in the event of a hospital admission, could be carried out by a trusted individual and help ensure that a difficult situation is made a little easier.

Positive steps which could be taken in advance of hospital care could include:

• The parent fully outlining what will happen to their child while they are being treated.

• The parent providing their child with clear, factual information about their mental illness in order to increase understanding.

• The parent creating what the Mental Health Foundation describes as a "routine factsheet" which could outline the children's daily/weekly routine to be followed in the parent's absence. Factsheets have numerous benefits. For example, if the child's guardian(s) follow a factsheet it can provide the child with a sense of continuity and security. Compiling a factsheet can also give the absent parent a sense that they are contributing to their child's wellbeing while they're apart.

• Parents briefing their child on what they might expect when they visit them in hospital.

• Providing information to be given to the child's school in the event of a parent requiring hospital care. This information could help teachers understand the needs of the child during a difficult time.

If a young person is not briefed on what to expect or feels unable to cope when their mum or dad becomes seriously ill they could make an appointment to see their GP in order to find out more information. They could also contact, through their council, their local Community Health Team.

Young carers

Young carers may miss out on educational, social and leisure activities because of their caring. They are often unknown to services. A study by the NSPCC also showed that many young carers had significant experiences of loss, self-blame and stigma.

It's very important for carers of all ages to get the support they need especially from their GP and Community Mental Health Team. Make sure you ask your local social services department for a Carer's Assessment as this will identify where you need help and who can provide you with that help. It is important that carers of all ages (including those under the age of 18) are informed of any developments in treatment of the cared-for. This should be discussed in advance with the carer, the person being cared for and the care-coordinator to ensure that arrangements are made for information to be shared and decisions to be made while the cared-for is in hospital.

Young carers often feel that they are not kept informed or consulted on decisions that are being made because professionals sometimes assume it is best not to burden them or that they are not old enough to be involved. However, this may leave young carers feeling isolated and lacking control, especially those who take a more active caring role.

As caring for someone can be time-consuming, stressful and tiring it's vitally important for carers to ensure their health does not suffer. Carers with a serious mental illness themselves should remember to make their health as much a priority as the person they care for. Carers should make sure they get the care they need.

Carers may wish to consider the benefits of joining a carers' support group. Carers' groups can be beneficial as they offer a chance for the carer to share their experiences with people who will understand the issues they raise. Carers may also wish to access respite services which will allow them to have a break in the knowledge that the person they care for is being looked after.

Some useful links

• In spring 2009 Hafal published "New Values - New Practice" a report in which service users expressed their views on what they would like to see in the Welsh Assembly Government's National Services Framework which is currently being reviewed. Hafal's report contained a chapter entitled "Parenting or caring relationships" which lists suggested new practice examples from service users. To view "New Values - New Practice" please visit: www.hafal.org/hafal/publications.php

• In 2004 Hafal set up the groundbreaking All-Wales Mental Health Carers Forum especially to address the needs of the carers of people with mental illness. The Forum is also open to individuals and groups not affiliated to Hafal. For more information about the activities of the Forum, or to become involved, contact the All-Wales Mental Health Carers Forum Convener Janet Randles c/o: Hafal, Suite C2, William Knox House, Llandarcy, Neath SA10 6EL (Tel:01792 816 600; Email: carersforum@hafal.org).

• If you are the carer of a person with a mental illness Hafal will provide you with the information you need to find out where you can get support and advice. For information on carers' services provided by Hafal in your area please visit: www.hafal.org/hafal/pdf/carers/Carers_English.pdf. Your local council may also be able to provide you with a list of carers groups that meet in your area.

• To read Hafal's Ten Point Plan for Carers, which was published online in June 2009, please visit www.hafal.org/hafal/publications.php. This plan is based on the tips received from over 400 carer Members at Hafal. It's based on real experience and sets out the positive steps you can take as a carer to move forward and support the person you care for.

• The Mental Health Foundation's website offers comprehensive advice on what steps can be taken when a parent becomes unwell. Please visit: www.mentalhealth.org.uk/

• Barnardo's have produced a resource pack called "Keeping the family in mind". The pack is for anyone who works with parents with mental health difficulties, their children and their families and is designed to raise awareness of the issues that families face. To order a pack please visit:www.barnardos.org.uk/resources/research_and_publications/books_and_tools_health_and_disability.htm#parents

• Children in Wales support the development of services and support for young carers by facilitating the Young Carers Network. For more information on this please visit: www.childreninwales.org.uk/areasofwork/youngcarers/index.html

• The Princess Royal Trust's Young Carers website offers information and advice to young carers, as well as an opportunity to take part in online forums. Please visit: www.youngcarers.net

• Home Start offers free, confidential and non-judgemental advice to families with young children who are in need of a little extra support. Please visit: www.home-start.org.uk

• Families can also access local Family Support Services funded through the Welsh Assembly Government's Cymorth scheme. Cymorth is administered through local Children and Young People's Partnerships within each local authority. It aims to provide a network of targeted support for children and young people in order to improve the life chances of children and young people from disadvantaged families. For further information contact the Child and Family Programme Team Welsh Assembly Government, Cathays Park, Cardiff, CF10 3NQ
Tel. 02920 826379 Email: cymorth@wales.gso.gov.uk

Further information on Cymorth can be accessed here: http://www.dcsf.gov.uk/everychildmatters/earlyyears/surestart/fundedsettings/wales/wales/